Confessions of men who simply can’t cook

The knife’s no sword!

If the robe’s your shining armour, leave the kitchen alone. Watching tutorials to scrape through life isn’t a hobby to possess for long. Quell your fears and pick up the tools! Pathetic, horrible or superbly cool recipes- make mistakes and dole them all out. Five kitchen-challenged men shell out their most embarrassing stories!

“South Indians would be embarrassed of me today”, 19 yrs

“It was probably the first time I had ventured into the kitchen and my mum asked for help in making coconut chutney. I pick all the ingredients, throw them into the mixer and switch it on. Who knew you have to hold the mixer while it’s blending? The chutney flew all over, reaching my ceiling and even my face. Hilariously, the chutney stains remained on our ceiling for close to three years till we renovated our house recently!”

“Black pasta isn’t for the light-hearted”, 26 yrs

“Yes it exists and I’m the one who discovered its existence. My girlfriend was over and I had planned an Italian night. *wink* And then the unfortunate happened. Take my advice, don’t take a shower and let the white sauce stir itself- it will burn and HOW. Worst? I got no action too!!!”

“Magic masala, or maybe not”, 32 yrs

“My German friends decided to pay me a visit. I decide to treat them to a staple Indian curry by embracing my Youtube-watching skills (I had never cooked before). I buy the ingredients, put them all in, add in some masala and serve it like a king. Lesson learnt: masala’s for taste and that doesn’t mean adding heaps. My friends were on fire!! Not sure if they’ll taste Indian food ever again.”

“A glass of water can really save your day”, 21 yrs

“Miscalculation can ruin things. Five guests come over and are waiting for a glass of cold coffee each. I misjudge the amount of milk to buy and end up making only 4 ‘cups’ of coffee. What next? I add a glass of water and turn tables! LOL”

“I knew cooking wasn’t for me”, 26 yrs

“My first attempt at making chapatis looked like something you’d cut from the bottom of an elephant’s foot.”

Nevertheless, we’re still so irresistible. Aren’t we?


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